I had a vision to paint the stories of women who are survivors of mental, sexual, physical and/or spiritual abuse. I want to help victims who are in abuse situations currently or have been abused in the past to know that they are not alone, as well as to know that there is hope. I have incorporated both images and words in each woman’s portrait story.  The story will share the pain along with the healing journey. 

Each woman has shared their life story with me through written form or conversation.  They decided what imagery, symbols, colors and words will best speak of their life.  I left it up to each woman’s discretion as to how she would like her story portrayed.   Each portrait story is a cooperative effort between the woman, the artwork and myself.

I uesd a variety of windows to display the portrait stories.  Windows are a symbol of the access to our souls.   Discarded materials were found and repurposed throughout the display to represent the lives of survivors feeling discarded, but finding healing and their new purpose in life.  Warning signs of abusers are posted on small yellow flags through out the exhibit as well as steps toward freedom.

 

This is one woman's story. This is Judy's story.  Judy started Mending the Soul for Victims in Northwestern Minnesota.

Freedom found Me

Imagine yourself standing in the kitchen. It is winter. The kitchen is cold, much colder than a kitchen should be. You see snow on the floor. You feel an icy wind biting your ankles. Wind and snow are coming in through a large hold under the door.

You are holding a baby in your arms. The baby is hungry - so are you. The only food you have eaten in days is the stale bread the neighbor drops off at the doorstep.

You are afraid. Not about the cold. Not about your child’s hunger or your own hunger. You are afraid for your life. You fear the hour your partner comes home. He will likely be drunk. He will likely fly into a rage over the smallest thing. A small toy left on the living room floor. Dirty dishes on the table. If it’s a bad night and he gets upset, the night will end with bruises and welts on you and your child.

People ask, “Can’t you leave?” You dream of leaving. But you are so afraid to. He has told you, over and over, “It’s your fault,” and now you believe him. He has said, in so many ways, “You deserve this,” and now you agree with him. He has threatened so often, “If you leave I’ll ___ you,” and you believe him. Shame binds you. Fear paralyzes you. Hopelessness smothers you. When the fear hits, you are hardly able to breathe. You have no strength to walk away.

You could maybe call a friend and talk. Or contact a family member and get some comfort. But you have no cell phone, no LAN line, no computer. He took those away from you.

Even if you could reach out, who would want to help you? He has cut off many of your closest relationships. You have cut off the other ones, because he told you you should.
And so, despite the pain, the loneliness, the fear, you stay. You stay in the cold, dark kitchen holding your precious child. Hoping to stay alive one more day. Maybe tomorrow will be different.

You hear his car drive in. You panic. With all your might you pray, “God, rescue me.”

This story is my story. I have lived everything you read. After putting up with an abusive husband for several years, I finally had enough. One day I put my baby in the car and drove away. My husband followed me in his car. He chased me all over town. Finally I drove to the police station and stayed there until he left.

I went to live with my parents for a while. I got really mad at God. Why would He allow this to happen to me? I felt Him saying “Go ahead and be mad. Be mad at me all you want. But in the end you will pull up your boot straps, you will heal and you will help others.”

A year later, I was reconnected with an old high school friend named Gary. We married and enjoyed a marriage that lasted 41 years. Gary was an alcoholic when I married him. But he decided to go into treatment. While he was in treatment I began to attend Al-Anon and church.

At Al-Anon and church my healing from abuse started. I learned there how to love myself, how to set healthy boundaries, and how to trust in God and let Him lead my life. Jesus Christ set me free! Gary also experienced healing as he went through treatment and AA. After getting help and healing, Gary and I decided to use our experiences to help others in their struggles.

God’s word to me came true. I started a “Mending the Soul” ministry, a group of healing for abused women. Through this group and AVA (Advocates for Victims of Abuse),
I have reached hundreds of women. These women in turn, have helped others and started their own healing groups.

If you surrender your hurts to God and allow Him to heal you from the inside out, not only will you become free, but you will be used to help others find their freedom!!

An important life lesson I have learned is to be grateful for every day because it might be your last day. I have also learned to live every day to the fullest, and not to take life for granted!

Judy Inglis